You have 5 seconds to respond effectively to temptation. If you entertain temptation beyond 5 seconds you are likely to fall into it. James 1:14-15 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

(Read these verses again and replace your name where it makes reference to person, they and their.)

According to Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., author of Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery, an arousal template consists of "the total constellation of thoughts, images, behaviors, sounds, smells, sights, fantasies, and objects that arouse us sexually." This constellation encompasses vast categories of stimuli that come from our early experiences with family, friends, media, and teachers. James is referring to your own evil desires, notice how he is referring to YOUR OWN! The sexual desires that plaque you are sitting stored up in your arousal template, tempting you and reminding you of past experiences, images, sexually related feelings and thoughts. ​

God's design was for our arousal template to be influenced, developed and enjoyed through Godly intimacy in marriage. Due to our sinful nature, the culture we live in today and Satan’s desire to corrupt and destroy God honoring marriages, many people are living with an adulterated arousal template. When your arousal template is misguided, twisted by an abuser, and/or influenced through sinful acts and images, it is like a grenade. James, when referring to us being dragged off by our own evil desires is making reference to our own temptation arousing us and dragging us into sin. When our arousal template is triggered by a sexual thought of an image or past experience, it is like you are standing there with a grenade in your hand and your finger is on the pin. The evil desire in us at that moment is enticing us to pull the pin and allow ourselves to be dragged off to a false fulfillment (fraudulent initimacy) of sexual desire. 

Once you pull the pin of the grenade, allowing your sexual arousal to entice you, its extremely hard to put the pin back in; not impossible but extremely hard. If you choose to not put the pin back in and allow your hand to release the lever of the grenade, sin has been birthed, as James 1 refers to. The igniter within the grenade is lit and explosion is about to take place. There is nowhere to hide or to run to from its impact on you and inevitably on others through you. Once the fuse is lit, there is no turning back, explosion will happen and severe damage to anything within its range is inevitable. The onslaught of damage will happen to you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. You will experience great shame and guilt and will express it through anger, rage, depression and ultimately self destruction. 

Porn is not your #1 issue, porn is an external influence wanting to entice, impact and activate your arousal template. Your viewing of sexually arousing material and images through pornography and/or experiences is the byproduct of your arousal template being activated, indulged in, and your own evil desires given permission to drag you off into sin. 

So, what do you do?​

1) IS YOUR FINGER ON THE PIN - the key to your journey to recovery and daily victory is to RE first stop pulling the pin! Recognize the triggers that taunt you to pull the pin by FIGHTING HARD; name it, expose it and ditch it. When you feel triggered (an arousing thought, just saw an image that's arousing, a feeling of arousal has just jumped in front of you, etc...) its as if you are standing there with the grenade in your hand ready to pull the pin. RIGHT NOW, in this moment, you are strongest to resist, to run, to flee, to let go of the grenade of temptation and walk away proclaiming victory. The longer you ponder, think, replay the image, look and indulge in the feeling of arousal, the more likely you are to fall into sinning. As you look and ponder you are actually in the act of pulling the pin and preparing yourself to indulge, to explode and ultimately reap the consequences. You are strongest at the beginning to resist! Self control is a muscle, the more its exercised the stronger it gets. Actively be a part of an RTRIBE group, clean house of all access to arousing material and images, get Covenant Eyes and allow your honesty and Gods empowering grace lead you to growing and lasting victory. 

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2) SEEK GOD by first telling Him how desperately you need Him and by asking Him to help you understand, expose to the light and release the explosive material in your grenade of sexual desire; your arousal template. The way they make a grenade a dud is by carefully and slowly drilling out the bottom of the grenade, releasing the explosive material away from the igniter and taking away the pressure inside the chamber. Your journey is a 3 to 5 year road to recovery and consistent victory. At times it will feel slow but know that Gods work in you is not done in your timing but in His. Consider if you need professional counseling due to past abuse and/or how hard it is to let go of the sin.  

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3) STICK TOGETHER - God has given you and made you part of the Body of Christ to stir you on, to care for one another, exhort each other, and to build one another up in Christ. You have been given the Word of God to equip you and lead you in victory through His Truth, 2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. Allow Godly community to rebuild a proper understanding and experience of intimacy.  Remember 1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. A good accountability group goes a far way and God will use it on numerous occasions to provide you a way out.